How to Get Over a Broken Heart When You Still Love Him
Healing from a broken heart requires acknowledging your pain and giving yourself permission to feel again.
After breaking up with my narcissistic boyfriend, I went through different stages of emotional trauma. I could hardly do a thing without wishing he was there to give his opinion.
Moving on without him didn’t feel right. Or maybe I just didn’t know how to let him go.
I knew I was hurting but I wanted him so badly that I ignored all voices inside telling me that I was better than what I was receiving.
I constantly questioned my judgments of him. “Was I wrong to think he was overly controlling? Was he just overprotective, not possessive? Did I mistake my own insecurity for his lack of empathy?”
I believed my life had no purpose without him. He has been the sole voice in the relationship which made it difficult to make any decision on my own.
For the 3 years we were together, I was emotionally dependent on him, so owning my pain after the breakup was a mirage.
This encouraged our on-and-off reconciliations until I finally had the courage to end all communication with him.
Be content in bad situation
We often start to change ourselves and be like the people who we think are better than us. This is nothing but just a waste of mental and physical energy.
We must learn to feel at peace with what we have and about the situation which is beyond our control.
The first step towards this is to become aware of your present i.e. think of the things you already have. Think of what you have achieved and the relationships you cherish.
Living in the present not only makes us happy, but we are also content and satisfied.
Acknowledging the present means being grateful for what you have. It can be done by making a list of things for which you are grateful.
This practice must be done early in the morning. Write at least 5 things daily for which you are thankful.
One has to be more compassionate and patient in the pursuit of success and not forget ourselves.
We often forget the joy of celebrating the present. And our whole life is wasted in tension and comparison.
Accept what you can’t change
After becoming aware of what you already have, the next step is creating a broader vision and accepting all the people, situations, and things as they are.
Try to improve yourself and adapt to the changes not out of jealousy or comparison but out of self-curiosity and personal goals.
Do everything you like but do it for yourself. Try to change and improve yourself not because you want to impress someone else but for your personal happiness and goal.
Some things are beyond our control. They are pre-decided by fate and we have to trust that eventually what happens will be for our good. This does not mean that you have to give up and be passive.
Improvement and continuous changes are necessary to sustain life on this planet.
But whatever you do must be guided by a desire and a goal to be unique. It must not be aimed at becoming someone else.
Build up your self-confident
Confidence is a huge part of being mentally strong.
Being confident is a great sign of self-love, and it helps us to stay away from the temptation of comparing ourselves to others.
When we are confident in our strengths or ability, we are happy in our skin and at peace in our minds.
Confidence is a great comfort. We can always go the extra mile by sharing our confidence with others, but at the end of the day, being confident is a personal achievement.
Be your authentic self
Be completely true to yourself. There is no need to change who you are to satisfy others, and you do not need to pretend to impress anyone.
You need to stay true to yourself and understand your limits so that you don’t get pushed over by others.
Being your true self allows you to form your own values and beliefs. If you keep looking outwardly and trying to be like someone else, you tend to embrace their values and beliefs.
Your values and beliefs determine who you are. It is extremely important to always remember who you are and where you come from.
Showing that we are comfortable with the life we have is a major part of being true to ourselves, and loving our mind goes right along with that comfort.
About author
Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.
Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you.