When You Decenter Men You Destabilize Them. So Why Are Women Doing It?
While we are on the top of decentering men, can we get “men hating” out of the way?
We live in a world where everything a woman does revolves around men. But when women exclude men in their lives, all hell lets loose and suddenly, “women hate men.”
Whenever women decide to do something for themselves without involving men, men slap on the “hating” tag.
If she doesn’t have a boyfriend, it’s because men can’t stand her. If she wants to go to a concert by herself, then she doesn’t have a bf/husband to accompany her. If she wears a short skirt, she does so to provoke men.
And if you so much as say you don’t need a man to make you happy, then you are definitely a “man-hater.”
What!
How does centering your life around you become the emancipation of another person?
What’s more intriguing about detoxifying men in our lives is that men are oblivion about the consequences of their actions.
Every time you tell a woman she’s nothing without you, she dries her tears, gets her act together and becomes ten times better than you imagined. The deceit, lies, cheating and beating women receive from their male partners only make them stronger and more resilient.
And finally, we are at a crossroad where women no longer depend on men for sustenance. Most of us would rather be single than put up with half-ass men who do nothing but degrade our self-worth and confidence.
There is too much of a focus on men’s opinions and preferences and it’s all a distraction. And no matter how much you fit into their box, it won’t shield you from disappointment because men are clueless about who they are.
Men have lost their identity in order to protect their ego
There is a lot of identity crisis going on with the male gender that most of them cannot think for themselves except follow a pre-written script of who they should be.
We see a recession happening and I will be honest — women around me are doing much better than the men I see. Women in general seem to be doing better than men and their anger is increasing.
Their emotional intelligence was always low but it’s like it’s getting even lower. They are bitter, jaded, poor, unhealthy, narcissistic, sociopathic, and energy vampires in general. They are not all the way there and they don’t want to see women happy and having fun if the fun doesn’t involve them.
They are painfully insecure and traumatized.
It would seem like men are neurodivergent and are not operating to their full potential and their lives are stagnant because they lack awareness about certain social things and don’t want to learn.
Neurodivergent women for example will seek out professionals to help them stay on top of things but men have egos that are too large to ask for help.
Decentering men to regain your worth
Women really need to focus on self-actualization and building confidence/self-esteem through goal setting and getting out of their comfort zone. It doesn’t even have to be a monetary goal.
If you are stuck in a ‘no signal’ relationship with men in order to feel validated and fulfilled, it might be time to decenter men from your life.
Decentering men from your life is a way to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself, and the people around you, including the men in your life. It involves re-accessing your values and goals and making sure your focus is on yourself and your happiness, rather than the happiness of others.
As a woman, we are often taught that our happiness and worth are directly tied to a relationship. We are raised on a diet of fairy tales and romantic comedies that teach us that finding a prince charming is the key to a happy life.
Unfortunately, this narrative can be damaging as it reinforces the idea that our primary focus should be on finding and pleasing a man rather than our own goals and personal growth.
Focusing solely on men can lead to feelings of emptiness and lack of purpose as our self-worth is entirely tied up in the success of the relationship.
When a relationship ends, we can feel like we’ve lost everything, instead of seeing the breakup as an opportunity for growth and newer experiences.
Furthermore, the pressure to find a man and settle down can lead to settling in a toxic or unhealthy relationship. We may feel it’s necessary to be in a relationship to be happy even if it’s not a healthy one.
This can lead to a cycle of codependency and subsequent abuse of our self-esteem. In order to truly be happy and fulfilled, it’s important we decenter men from our lives and focus on our own goals and aspirations.
Don’t get me wrong!
Centering your life around your goal and happiness doesn’t mean you will opt out of relationships altogether. It doesn’t mean you hate men, either.
Rather you are redefining what a successful relationship means to you.
After all the key to happiness is being content with ourselves and our company rather than relying on others to complete us. By decentering men in our lives we can find the strength and confidence to pursue our dreams and truly build a life that fulfills us.
Another reason you need to decenter men in your life is that it gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself.
Because your life is centered around a man, you easily forget your own needs in favor of pleasing your partner. By prioritizing self-care and personal goals, you will be able to establish independence and agency in your life.
This will help boost your self-esteem and overall happiness, in turn, strengthen your relationship with others. When you are taking care of yourself, you will have more energy and resources to invest in your relationship, whether romantic or otherwise. You will also be better equipped with how to set boundaries and stand up for yourself when needed.
Pursuing personal goals can be incredibly rewarding. Whether it’s starting a new hobby, pursuing a career change, or travelling the world, having a goal in mind can give you a sense of purpose and direction in life.